Parents and Grandparents (probably sappy)

Parenting is on my mind this morning. There are several reasons I suppose. Not the least of which is that our daughter and her husband are weeks away from becoming parents themselves. I have been "mom" or "mum" or some form thereof for over 30 years. Now I will get to add "Gramma" to my life resumé. Of course this little guy may never call me that, even though it is how I already think of myself in relationship to him, and have signed his homemade quilts. He will decide his heart names for us. We will all be delighted with his choices:). In my imagination I have already held him, smelled that sweet new baby smell, seen those little arms and legs, and experienced the happiness of seeing our daughter and son-in-law in moments of new parent adoration. Seeing my daughter become a mother . . . what a miracle. I know when I get my turn to really, truly, hold him that I will remember thoroughly the happiness I felt when my own children were born. The slate of parenting was clean, brand new. My heart was giant size with love. I am sure grandparent love is amazing too. My cousin and all my already grandparent friends have told me it is. They all get this expression of bliss on their faces when they say it. I get the feeling it will be a brand new world. I can't wait.

The other reason parenting is on my mind this morning is that I realize that I sometimes still don't do it as well as I would like. I love my children so much. They are the treasure. They always have been and always will be. Yet we have to go through the messiness of navigating all things about life. Parents have to find that fine line so many darn times. It doesn't stop when the children grow up. We are bound to miss sometimes. But I hate missing. Ever since that first time I held them I didn't ever want to miss. D tells me that I tend to be a "score keeper" and I know that it true. Anyone able to relate? It's hard for others, but I keep meticulous score of my own perceived mistakes. It is like I say to myself, "Mistake. Fifty laps. Now!" It's one of those things I have been trying to "let go of" for most of my life. (By the way, "letting go" is a term I often find frustrating.) I know, M.A. in psychology and I still said that! If we could all just "let go" of the things that clutter our personalities and relationships don't you think we would do just that? I just hope my (adult now) children always know that I am pulling for them. Seriously, pulling for them. Even when I miss the line and have to come back and apologize. I won't stop encouraging them, loving them, respecting and accepting them for who they are. Yes, I mess up along the way . . . but please know that I would rather not. More than anything, I would rather not.

We, as a family, are coming along with the new parents. It is their turn, but their happiness will be ours; Their concerns will be ours. We will all laugh when we see him laugh. Emails and tweets will fly when he crawls, or when he takes those first steps. I know that this baby will have two uncles who won't be able to get enough of him over the coming years. He will have a Grandpa who will want to give him the moon. Good thing the parents-to-be are the sharing kind:) Welcome, little boy. We love you. We are here waiting for you. And to K and D, all the best in this new phase of life. You are in for quite an adventure. I hope you will be gentle with yourselves. Good luck on that one:)